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on these bone-biting days of dark winter
when you feel like the only comforting place to be
is under a mountain of blankets
breathing your own exhalation

when the world seems cold and impersonal
and you feel invisible
mouthing words no one hears
slow motion walking through lonely days

dumped, ditched, dissed and doubtful
feeling failure, flawed and all fucked up

mourning the losses, grieving for what is no more
be it sun, love, life or dream

give yourself grace and patience

then gently rise
put on your slippers
make your self a cup of tea
get a pen and paper and make a plan
for how you’ll live
when spring comes again (literally and figuratively)

envision your life full and happy
walking among the living – your dream life
(take time and money out of your vision)

ask yourself these questions:

what do i see myself doing in my dream life?
what makes my heart happy?
what makes me feel love?
what makes me feel full?

or

how do i want to get out of bed in the morning?
how do i want to fill my days?
how do i want to feel inside?
how does my body want to feel?
how do i want to take care of my body and mind?
what do i want to do to be creative?
how do i want feed my brain?
what do i want my personal and work spaces look like?
how do i want to show up for others?

my plan for my life is rarely money and things. it mostly includes how i want to feel. the feeling i want to achieve for me dictates what action steps i need to do to reach those feelings. (i never consider what my husband, boss, or kids want and i definitely do not plan my life to win over or impress someone else)

for example:

if i see myself feeling strong, healthy = in order to achieve that, i must do some form of hearty exercise and eat nutritionally dense foods that nourish
if i want to feel loving, patient = i must focus on being present to those i am with and truly listening to them when they speak
if i want to feel calm, peaceful = i must journal my feelings, check in with my emotional needs and nurture my spirit with some form of meditation or centering exercise
if i want to feel satisfied, content and organized = i must create a to do list, and focus on taking baby steps towards accomplishment

crystalline clarity comes with asking questions of your self.
it comes with knowing what you want

it requires that you shut out the needs of others, 
it requires that you turn off the electronics and tune into your soul,
it requires that you stop looking outside to what’s troubling others, 
and that you go deep within,
to sort out your own troubles,
and that you be brave enough to admit to what you really need to be happy.

ask. ask. ask.
and ask again.

how do i want to feel?

then just listen. without expectations of what it should look like.
and let your answers come.
and write them down.

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