i couldn’t even resist logging in indefinitely. and i definitely couldn’t bring myself to permanently delete my account. i deactivated it, for several hours – meaning no one could see my profile, posts, images, anything to do with me, but my profile remains in facebook cyberspace awaiting my return.
so, the question is why?
(second question could in all fairness be who cares, but i’m going with why?)
it’s nothing as elaborate and ethics oriented as ‘facebook is actively misrepresenting me to my friends’ and it’s not a reason like ‘facebook is recycling my likes to promote stories I’ve never seen before’ – although those are two very logical reasons i likely should quit.
nah, i’m not that complex. i just want more silence.
social media has long bugged me like an ingrown zit, always sore but never quite coming to a head to burst and ooze and then heal up and go away. i mean, when everyone is talking, who is listening? facebook, like twitter, is a pile of venting, sharing, statements, observations and info-dumping – some good, some stinky – and all being done at once. i have been a contributor to all the noise, but I think it’s okay to need a little break from it.
facebook is tricky. it makes me think that i’m connected to people, that i’m not alone, that i have something important to share and that someone, somewhere hears me and sees me and that we’re sharing. after all, aren’t we having some kind of conversation? and truly, there is a little voyeur in me that enjoys peeking into the timelines, conversations, and photographs of good friends, acquaintances and perfect strangers alike. i have enjoyed meeting new people and connecting with old friends and long lost family members.
i’m hoping to gain some new focus and time in my work day. i’m not very good at self monitoring my personal use and i refuse to install some kind of babysitter program to watch over me like i have no control over my own actions. i, erm… do. typically. okay, facebook has been a cruel mistress. impulse control 0. facebook 2,476. it is the ultimate in distraction. i fully admit that i waste a boat-load of my ‘time’ scrolling through a repetitive, never-ending, and, at times, not even particularly interesting newsfeed.
i want to write more and as long as i can be led through a continuous sequence of link after easy-click link to pore over articles and buzzfeeds and the blog posts of other writers, i won’t do mine anytime soon. just check out the date of the last post before this one – march 2! (she screams in her head just a little.)
i cannot lie. i’m a little worried no one will notice if I go. and it is hard to think about leaving behind a brand new Big Love For Girls At Risk facebook page. i’m also worried i’d miss something really important. i mean, isn’t facebook where everyone gets their news, supplementary education and daily inspiration? (scared yet?)
who knows what will happen over the next few days. i might wake up tomorrow and login 100 times. that said, when i finally was brave enough to hit the button and ‘deactivate my account’ (however brief), i felt … relief.
maybe we just need to be on a break.
facebook digs a stick into my festering need to be seen and heard. i want to say something important, influential, special, moving, inspiring.
don’t we all?