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Where to begin.

It is empowering to see so many creative, talented and beautiful women like P!nk, Katy Perry, Shakira and Rihanna, and Lady Gaga leading the music industry.

purple blackBut, Beyonce’s latest album – self-titled Beyonce – is as visual as it is musical. And her video for “Partition” is pretty graphic. In fact, some people think it’s pornographic.

Popdust.com asked readers what they thought of Beyonce “rubbing a pole between her booty cheeks and singing about being ejaculated on in the backseat of a car”. Some don’t see any issue with it.  (If you’d really like to, you can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ12_E5R3qc) 

Beyonce is the epitome of an empowered woman. She is a master of her art. She is married to a powerful man. She is a mother. A smart business woman. A movie star. And she is generating mountains of money. This isn’t the first sexy music video that she has released. And it certainly isn’t going to be the last.

But, here’s what I want you to know in response to one interpretation of the possible messages that video sends: You can be a powerful, intelligent, creative, sexual woman without having to show all your female parts in an attempt to earn the respect or admiration of those around you.

In fact, in the real world – the one you go to school in, the circles you hang out in, the world you work in – letting your sexuality lead you, can lead to misery.

Unwanted attention.
Stares and scowls.
Predatory behavior.
Judgement.

I’m not saying it’s right or fair, I’m saying, it happens

That’s the truth.

Too many times to count, as a young woman I gave away sex hoping I would find worthiness, acceptance, and love. I completely mistook my sexuality for my inherent value. And the two have so little to do with each other. Every time I gave myself away in the hope of finding love, I found less love. I received less love. I loved myself less.

Your body does not equal your worth. 

Anyone can have sex. Every one is born with body parts and will experience desire. Being sexy and having sex doesn’t make you powerful. In fact, until you’re ready and with someone you trust, it puts you at risk. #bigtruth

It is your divine right to discover and unleash your personal power into the world. We need your creativity, talent, feminine power and intelligence.

What we don’t need is more glittery bits and ass crack.

You do not need to show your tits or slide your ass up and down a stripper pole to be desirable, beautiful and worthy as a woman in this world. And choosing not to show all your parts in a world that expects you will doesn’t make you a prude, frigid or ugly. It means you’re learning to love and respect yourself.

Life will gift you with moments of passion. When the time is right, and when it is safe for you, I hope you will feel sexy, desirable and free.

Last thought: This is smart and powerful media. Even at 43, I feel the pull of the message “be sexy, be wanted” and “your body is the most important part of you.” I will never be Beyonce. I am only me. And I am good enough to love.

If you’ve given away too much of yourself, it’s okay. You’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re not awful. You’re not damaged goods.

You matter.
#biglovebabysister
xoK

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