sometimes, our family of origin, or our birth family, are the ones who limit us the most. uninvited, hurtful comments like – – –
“what the fuck do you know?”
“just who do you think you are?”
“you think you’re so smart”
“what makes you think you’re better than me”
or, the more subtle, just as painful, unspoken words and behaviors, back handed compliments, and attempts to keep you ‘small’ are attempts to prevent you from fully exploring and learning and living your true potential.
you may have been born into that tribe, but you most certainly do not have to limit yourself with loyalty to remain in that tribe.
when those closest to you don’t appreciate or understand you, here are a few things you can do to limit your exposure to their discouraging comments or negativity:
1) remember, above all else – everybody has their own internal dialogue happening
you aren’t going to influence another person’s belief system, so when someone takes issue with who you are in your truth, try to remember it is not truly about you. it’s about them and how they perceive you. it is their assumptions, their misery, their judgement.
2) if you are unable to fully separate yourself from them – due to location or loyalty – limit your exposure for a while
make a few excuses as to why you can’t make it for coffee or dinner, ‘hide’ their profiles in your social media (this prevents the confrontation of blocking or unfriending someone, but allows you a reprieve from seeing them routinely), or reduce the amount of time you have to spend with them.
it might not ever be reasonable to separate yourself fully from them. don’t beat yourself up about it. but don’t subject yourself to unnecessary bullshit. take steps to self-preserve. no one has to know.
3) find your tribe
the world is full of people who are speaking your language, who ‘get’ where you’re coming from and who will think you’re pretty fucking awesome. find your team of people and connect. fill your cup by spending time with a new crew. this way, when you must spend time with the joy-suckers, at least your heart is full.
this isn’t abandonment.
this isn’t selfishness.
this is about not being a doormat.
it is about not being limited by other people’s limitations and beliefs.
it is about choosing to save yourself so that you remain healthy and happy
and so the world has the opportunity to receive the best parts of you.
the bold guts truth is – – – not everyone is going to love you. and, sometimes the people who insist they love you do unintentional harm to your soul, often in your best interest or because they ‘think’ they know who you are.
but you’re allowed to change. transform. metamorphose
you deserve to grow, learn, experience, and share who you really are.
even when it’s someone they don’t know.
go girl! i am rooting for you.
live in your truth.